Empty nesting begins and ends as our children embark on their own journey in life, elderly parents may now be relying on us for extra care in their senior years and the feeling of isolation and not knowing what the future holds as we deal with the changes and realisation of midlife hits us out of nowhere. Welcome the ‘middlepause’.
You start to ask yourself ‘what is it that I want to do?’ and look at this point in your life as the turning point where you want to start focusing more on yourself, by trying to recapture the old you before life, children, work, and partnerships consumed you. But you cannot bring back the old you, as to do that means that you are living in the past, the past that has been and gone and cannot be replayed, instead of embracing life in the present.
So what now …
Understanding what the ‘middlepause’ is, takes time and it’s not something you can just put your finger on. You need to first think carefully about what are you are hanging onto both mentally and physically. Look in the mirror, decide who and where you want to be at this present phase in life.
It is your moment, to be honest to yourself, and talk to the inner you, let’s face it when was the last time many of us were able to do this, with absolute honesty and without the distractions of worrying about someone else? How confident are you feeling? How are you feeling physically as well as mentally? Write it down … read it back to yourself, how does it make you feel?
The more you write, the more you allow your brain to delve deeper and dig out the what lies beneath that first layer. This is your reality.
Now write down all your ideas, dreams and desires. This is your future. When you realise this, your desire for change becomes overwhelming and the journey for your next chapter in life begins. If you are in the menopause, your life has not ended, it’s a phase and the longer we reject it, the longer it takes the next chapter to begin. Remember all of your dreams, desire and ideas.
Once our perceptions change, you start to see that that you react and respond very differently when others start to ask for your time and attention, because you are now saying ‘NO’ more often, without feeling bad. You become more at ease with yourself, attracting new people, places and new opportunities. You no longer seek or need approval from those around you and you start to feel empowered. The inner and outer you start to change.
The outer you want to now reflect the inner you. Not the inner you from 20 years ago but the present inner you, the one that is loving where you are in life, loving being 50, embracing the menopause and realising that you still have a bucket full of dreams to achieve.